2024

I’ll be the first person to admit that my computer simulated Super Bowl predictions haven’t been all that accurate. Despite predicting multiple raccoon attacks in Super Bowl LV, there were none (reported). Tom Brady didn’t dunk a bowling ball through a basketball hoop in 2019’s Super Bowl despite my computer projecting that he would, several…

I’m freshly dead and being bugged by a necromancer, but I can’t help but repeatedly stand among the skulls and debris and say the same thing over and over again. Horny. Horny. Horny. Horny. In a game where I’m required to type my way through a scraggly noir dungeon, I’m suddenly adopting the comedic intelligence…

Grand Theft Auto 6 is scheduled for release in 2025, on consoles at least, and even this far out you can easily call it the biggest release of the year if not the decade entirely. Grand Theft Auto now almost stands apart from the industry—the most wildly successful and deeply unusual of big budget titles—with…

Here is what you need to know: Tribes 3—demo currently available as part of the ongoing Steam Next Fest—lets you ski backwards at 150 miles per hour while firing a chain gun at pursuers. On that basis alone you should probably go give it a try. All the best, most basic zones of your mammalian…

In another victory for democracy, Helldivers 2 has dropped from orbit right onto the summit of Steam’s Global Top Sellers list, becoming the biggest Steam launch in Sony’s history despite some initial server issues. According to Steam DB, Helldivers 2 achieved the highest peak concurrent player-count for any Sony published game on Valve’s digital distribution…

Following disappointing sales of Assassin’s Creed Nexus, Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot says the publisher isn’t going to increase its investment into VR game development until demand for it “grows enough.” Assassin’s Creed Nexus looked “genuinely cool” in the estimation of news writer Joshua Wolens, “if you can keep yourself from throwing up,” which in the…

The bad guys behind ransomware attacks clocked up over $1.1 billion in extorted winnings in 2023. So says Chainalysis, a blockchain data specialist with a particular interest in the subject given ransom payments are typically made in cryptocurrency. News of 2023’s peak could come as something of a surprise given that 2022 saw a significant…

Baldur’s Gate 3 is a very horny RPG, as well as being broadly brilliant, and Larian knows exactly what its players want: smooching. Patch 6, dropping next week, will give the horny romantics something to get excited about in the form of “improved smooches”, along with some other additions.  In a tease on Twitter, the…