Unique items in Path of Exile 2 need to take more inspiration from Grim Dawn’s diarrhea pants

We all have our vices, and mine is a loot pile. There are few sources of dopamine more potent than dealing a final blow to a fortuitous skeleton and being rewarded with a multi-colored geyser of greatswords, quivers, amulets, and greaves. But while Path of Exile 2 has been supplying me with a steady drip of loot-triggered neurochemicals, all those drops have fallen just short of delight for one main reason:

The uniques are boring.

Unlike most of the randomized loot in Path of Exile 2, unique items are a rare class of equipment that are fully authored by Grinding Gear Games. They’ve got their own name, their own art, and their own preset modifiers—some of which can’t be found anywhere else. Like equivalent item classes in other ARPGs, uniques are PoE 2’s way of providing the classic medieval fantasy of finding a legendary sword or magical helmet worthy of its own name and mythology.

That’s the idea, at least. So far, however, most of PoE 2’s uniques just make some numbers go up by making others go down. And when they don’t, they feel less like build definers and more like build multipliers.

Looking through PoE 2’s lists of uniques, I don’t feel like I’m looking through a gallery of Excaliburs and Durendals. Instead, it feels like a mathematician’s idea of compelling trade-offs: Quill Rain makes you shoot arrows faster, but your arrows don’t hit as hard. Husk of Dreams gives you a chance to not consume flask charges, but the flask charges you do use are increased. Those choices might make interesting numerical problems for theorycrafters to ponder, but they don’t exactly leave me enchanted. Nobody’s writing any adventure novels about a guy who can drink potions a bit more than usual.

With simpler uniques the prevailing philosophy seems to be “Item, but More,” with any number of Brynhand’s Marks and Taryn’s Shivers that just offer better-than-normal functionality for characters with aligned build mechanics. They’re missing the creativity that should set uniques apart.

There are exceptions of course—uniques like Choir of the Storm, which makes critical hits call lightning bolts down on enemies, or Quecholli, which detonates enemies killed with critical hits to deal damage in a radius. But for the most part, PoE 2’s current slate of uniques don’t offer a distinct enough gameplay experience to feel like gaining possession of a storied artifact. That’s important for the power fantasy of an action RPG as well as its replayability—I want to start dreaming up new builds when I pick up a unique that does something no other item in my inventory can.

While I broadly prefer PoE 2’s progression and buildcrafting, Diablo 4 knows how to make a unique hit. D4’s uniques are more than beefy stat bonuses—they’re often completely new class fantasies, wrapped up in a single item. Grasp of Shadow can turn rogues into walking armies of shadow clones. Greatstaff of the Crone gives werewolf druids an entirely new form of lightning-based lycanthropy.

The best ARPG uniques offer another layer of player expression. I love to build a character around a specific item’s gimmick—not because it’s the most effective option, but because it constructs a different identity to inhabit during play. Say what you will about Grim Dawn’s unique poopy pants, you’re going to feel like you’re playing a character that’s wholly your own if that’s the basis of your build. I’m not necessarily saying PoE 2 needs more diarrhea, but there’s a reason “walk a mile in another man’s shoes” is a cliche while “walk a mile in another man’s diarrhea pants” is an entirely new sentence. Uniques grab your attention and imagination when they get weird with it! That’s a good thing (soiled trousers notwithstanding)!

When an item marked by a pillar of light and a name like Foxshade tumbles out of an enemy, I want to feel awed. My build might not work with a unique, but I want to feel tempted to make it work. In PoE 2, though, my reaction is usually “Huh, alright,” and then I toss the item in my stash where it’s promptly forgotten.

Still, I have hope. Grinding Gear Games designed a panoply of compelling uniques in the first Path of Exile that felt worthy of the designation: weapons like The Poet’s Pen, which triggers socketed spells as you attack, or the Varunastra, a one-handed weapon that counts as all weapon types at once. GGG’s proven it has the skillset for packaging a strong fantasy into an exciting item drop. I’d just like it to hit PoE 2’s early access sooner than later.