I really don’t know how to feel about this one: A new Painkiller was unveiled today at the Future Games Show Spring Showcase, being developed by Anshar Studios and published by 3D Realms, and I just don’t know if I can bring myself to have hope that it’s going to be good.
See, here’s the thing. The original Painkiller was lightning in a bottle: A come-from-nowhere 2004 FPS from a Polish studio called People Can Fly that mashed up masterful level design, ridiculous weapons, bonkers enemies, blasting heavy metal, and some bullshit about a demonic invasion of Earth or Heaven or whatever into one of the best singleplayer shooters of all time. It really was just that damn good, and you can pick it up right for $2 in the Steam Spring Sale if you don’t already own it. (And you should.)
But much like Star Wars, everything that followed the original pretty much sucked. The Battle out of Hell expansion was fine if you could ignore the ending; then came Painkiller: Overdose, which was not good, Painkiller: Resurrection which was worse, and Painkiller: Hell and Damnation, by which time I’d given up on the whole thing. That’s not a comprehensive history, but you get the idea.
Despite literal decades of disappointment, a little part of me holds onto hope that someone, someday, will make a new Painkiller that doesn’t suck. Will this one, entitled simply Painkiller, be it? The trailer looks the part, and it brings back a few memorable weapons from the original game, including the Stake Gun, Electro Driver, and of course the titular Painkiller, the spinning fan of death that turns everything it touches into big meaty chunks.
But there are some big differences too. Instead of a singular demon-killer with a grudge, you’ll play as one of four characters, each with a unique passive ability and personality, who players can further “empower” with collectible Tarot cards found throughout the game. You can also earn currencies by completing raids and challenges that can be used to unlock new weapons, upgrades, Tarot cards, and skins. Enemies are similar to those in Painkiller but have been updated to better match the “darker tone” of the games.
None of those things really make me think, yes, this is what I want from a new Painkiller. This is admittedly coming from a place of deep nostalgia but Painkiller isn’t a game about currencies and banter and being wilfully dark: It’s about a sad dad who loved his wife too much and now he’s gotta drop the Holy Hammer on the whole hordes of Hell, a place that isn’t hellish in the classical sense but rather a bizarre collection of mostly-familiar environs warped by the unholy lens through which they’re viewed. Painkiller works when it puts ninjas in the Opera House, or Sado-Commandos on the Train Station; when it becomes explicitly about a conventional take on Hell and demons, the air goes out of it.
Look, I don’t mean to come down too hard on the new Painkiller. It’s set to arrive in the fall, still several months away, and as I said the trailer looks the part, at least as far as you can tell from 45 seconds of smash-cut gameplay. I have doubts, yes, but I also really want it to be good—and you better believe I’ll be playing it when it’s out.
